You’ve got yarn in your bag, a project in your hands, and zero tolerance for bad vibes. This pillow pattern is for the unapologetically creative—the ones who crochet with attitude, swear like sailors, and always have scissors on hand just in case.
Whether you’re reclaiming the word or just embracing your inner chaos gremlin, the Crafty Bitch crochet pillow makes your space as bold as your energy. Warning: may cause side effects like uncontrollable confidence and spontaneous yarn shopping.
For more silly crochet pillow patterns, check out these posts.
Here’s everything you need to create the Crafty Bitch crochet pillow
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Skill level
Advanced Beginner
Hook size
5mm crochet hook
Supplies
- 400 yd background yarn- worsted weight
- 100 yd letter yarn- worsted weight
- Poly-fil or filling of your choice
Pattern notes
This pattern is written for right-handed crocheters in US terms. For left-handed crocheters, work each Row from end to beginning.
Abbreviations
- ch = chain stitch
- st= stitch
- sc= single crochet
Disclaimer: This pattern is intended for personal use only. Duplication of this pattern for sale or distribution is protected under copyright and are property of The Morning Crafter.
Stitch guide
- Single Crochet Stitch (sc) insert hook into stitch, pull through 1 loop (leaving 2 loops on the hook), yarn over, pull through both loops
- Color Changing: As you’re moving through a single crochet stitch, when you are left with the 2 loops on the hook, do not complete the stitch with your current color. Drop color 1, grab color two, pull that through the 2 loops on your hook and continue on to your next stitch with the new color. Seamless transition with no knots!
The chart
This pattern is worked in a front panel, and a back panel, which are joined after the back panel has been stitched together.
For odd rows, the front panel faces you. For even rows, the backside of the front panel faces you.
It’s super important to reference the charts on the next page while stitching to ensure your letters come out correctly. That way, even if you accidentally add or subtract a stitch, your text will still line up.
This pattern is written in US terms for right handed crocheters. For left handed crocheters, reference the chart and you can work the text pattern from the end, backwards.
Instructions
Front panel
Begin with: ch 82
Row 1: Starting in the 2nd ch from the hook, sc across the row in A, ch 1, turn (81)
Rows 2-7: sc 81 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 8: sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 2 B, sc 67 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 9: sc 9 A, sc 4 B, sc 8 A, sc 2 B, sc 12 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 6 B, sc 3 A, sc 8 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 10: sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 9 B, sc 3 A, sc 7 B, sc 5 A, sc 5 B, sc 9 A, sc 6 B, sc 6 A, sc 6 B, sc 7 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 11: sc 6 A, sc 6 B, sc 7 A, sc 6 B, sc 8 A, sc 6 B, sc 5 A, sc 6 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, A, sc 2 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 12: sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 11 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 6 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 13: sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 10 A, sc 2 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 2 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 10 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 4 B, sc 6 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 14: sc 7 A, sc 8 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 7 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 2 B, sc 7 A, sc 7 B, sc 10 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 15: sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 10 A, sc 6 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 7 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, sc 7 B, sc 7 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 16: sc 7 A, sc 6 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 7 B, sc 4 A, sc 8 B, sc 7 A, sc 7 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 17: sc 5 A, sc 9 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, A, sc 4 B, sc 6 A, sc 8 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 10 A, sc 3 B, sc 11 A, sc 4 B, sc 7 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 18: sc 8 A, sc 4 B, sc 10 A, sc 3 B, sc 11 A, sc 2 B, sc 4 A, sc 8 B, sc 5 A, sc 4 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 8 B, sc 6 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 19: sc 7 A, sc 6 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 4 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 2 B, sc 11 A, sc 3 B, sc 10 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 20: sc 9 A, sc 6 B, sc 8 A, B, sc 12 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 17 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 21: sc 17 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 2 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 21 A, sc 5 B, sc 10 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 22: sc 61 A, sc 3 B, sc 17 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 23: sc 81 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 24: sc 81 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 25: sc 81 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 26: sc 81 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 27: sc 19 A, sc 5 B, sc 37 A, B, sc 4 A, sc 2 B, sc 13 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 28: sc 13 A, sc 2 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, sc 7 B, sc 4 A, sc 2 B, sc 5 A, sc 8 B, sc 18 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 29: sc 18 A, sc 9 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 9 B, sc 5 A, sc 6 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 13 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 30: sc 13 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 2 B, sc 5 A, sc 6 B, sc 4 A, sc 8 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 4 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 17 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 31: sc 17 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 4 B, sc 8 A, sc 2 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 13 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 32: sc 13 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 10 B, sc 17 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 33: sc 17 A, sc 9 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 9 A, sc 8 B, sc 14 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 34: sc 14 A, sc 8 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 8 B, sc 17 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 35: sc 17 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 2 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, sc 8 B, sc 14 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 36: sc 14 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 2 B, sc 17 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 37: sc 17 A, sc 3 B, A, sc 4 B, sc 5 A, sc 2 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 8 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 14 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 38: sc 14 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 7 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 7 B, sc 17 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 39: sc 18 A, sc 5 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 10 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 2 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 14 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Row 40: sc 20 A, sc 2 B, sc 27 A, sc 3 B, sc 29 A, ch 1, turn (81)
Rows 41-48: sc 81 A, ch 1, turn (81)
After Row 48, tie off.
Back panel
Begin: ch 82
Row 1: Starting in the 2nd ch from the hook, sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (81)
Rows 2-48: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (81)
At the end of row 48, do NOT tie off.
Joining the pieces
Keeping your hook on the last ch stitch, insert your hook into the bottom corner of your front panel. In each row across, insert hook through next stitch in back AND front panel, joining them with a sc stitch. continue to the corner.
When you get to the end of that first row, sc 4 times in corner, turn your work and continue sc in each stitch on back and front panel along the side. Sc 4 times in top corner, continue stitching along the top of your pillow, sc 4 times in corner, stitch about 1/2 way down final side.
Stuff pillow to personal puffiness preference. Once stuffed to your liking, continue on the final side to seal up your pillow. Sc 3 times in the final corner.
Tie off. Tuck in any leftover strings from your project, and VOILA! You did it!
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