Ever have one of those days where everything is just… too much? The kind where deep breaths don’t cut it, and the only logical response is to mutter (or scream) fuck this shit into the void? Same. That’s why this Fuck This Shit crochet tapestry pattern exists.
With every stitch, it captures the raw, unfiltered essence of being so done—whether it’s with work, the news, or that one sock that keeps disappearing in the laundry. It’s a statement, a mood, and a much-needed coping mechanism, all wrapped up in cozy crochet.
Hang it up as a battle cry, a warning, or just a little piece of fiber art therapy. Whatever you do, make sure you stitch it with the proper amount of spite.
You can also find other free curse word crochet patterns here.
Here’s everything you need to create the Fuck This Shit crochet tapestry
For ad-free paid PDF versions of this pattern please visit:
Skill level
Advanced Beginner
Hook size
5mm crochet hook
Supplies
- 3 skeins Lion Brand Basic Stitch for the background (A)- Worsted weight acrylic yarn
- 1 skein Lion Brand Homespun for the letters (B)- bulky weight boucle acrylic yarn
- 1 3/4 inch wooden dowel cut to size
Pattern notes
This pattern is written for right-handed crocheters in US terms. For left-handed crocheters, work each Row from end to beginning.
Abbreviations
- ch = chain stitch
- st= stitch
- sc= single crochet
Disclaimer: This pattern is intended for personal use only. Duplication of this pattern for sale or distribution is protected under copyright and are property of The Morning Crafter.
Stitch guide
- Single Crochet Stitch (sc) insert hook into stitch, pull through 1 loop (leaving 2 loops on the hook), yarn over, pull through both loops
- Color Changing: As you’re moving through a single crochet stitch, when you are left with the 2 loops on the hook, do not complete the stitch with your current color. Drop color 1, grab color two, pull that through the 2 loops on your hook and continue on to your next stitch with the new color. Seamless transition with no knots!
The chart
This pattern is worked as a continuous piece from top to bottom.
It’s super important to reference this chart while stitching to ensure your letters come out correctly. That way, even if you accidentally add or subtract a stitch, your text will still line up.
Outside of lining up your text, this tapestry is super forgiving and customizable. If you accidentally end up with too many stitches, you can hide it by adding an edging to the tapestry if you’d like.
This crochet pattern uses US terms and is written for right-handed crocheters.
***FOR LEFT HANDED CROCHETERS***- Work the pattern rows backward to ensure your letters come out facing the correct way.
Instructions
Begin with a chain of 93
Row 1: Starting in the 2nd ch from the hook, sc in every stitch across in A, ch 1, turn (92)
Rows 2-4: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 5: sc 25 A, sc 8 B, sc 6 A, sc 4 B, sc 49 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 6: sc 49 A, sc 22 B, sc 21 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 7: sc 18 A, sc 25 B, sc 49 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 8: sc 50 A, sc 25 B, sc 17 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 9: sc 16 A, sc 26 B, sc 50 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 10: sc 51 A, sc 26 B, sc 15 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 11: sc 14 A, sc 5 B, sc 8 A, sc 11 B, sc 34 A, sc 7 B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 12: sc 14 A, sc 6 B, sc 41 A, sc 4 B, sc 11 A, sc 3 B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 13: sc 13 A, sc 2 B, sc 11 A, sc 3 B, sc 43 A, sc 5 B, sc 15 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 14: sc 16 A, sc 4 B, sc 44 A, sc 3 B, sc 11 A, B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 15: sc 12 A, sc 2 B, sc 11 A, sc 3 B, sc 43 A, sc 4 B, sc 17 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 16: sc 17 A, sc 4 B, sc 44 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 12 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 17: sc 12 A, sc 8 B, sc 4 A, sc 2 B, sc 45 A, sc 3 B, sc 18 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 18: sc 19 A, sc 3 B, sc 44 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 8 B, sc 12 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 19: sc 13 A, sc 7 B, sc 2 A, sc 9 B, sc 3 A, B, sc 8 A, B, sc 15 A, sc 2 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 11 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 20: sc 10 A, sc 7 B, sc 3 A, sc 2 B, sc 7 A, sc 7 B, sc 8 A, sc 6 B, sc 3 A, sc 5 B, sc 3 A, sc 10 B, sc 2 A, sc 6 B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 21: sc 14 A, sc 4 B, sc 2 A, sc 10 B, sc 4 A, sc 4 B, sc 4 A, sc 5 B, sc 8 A, sc 9 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 2 A, sc 8 B, sc 10 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 22: sc 10 A, sc 13 B, sc 5 A, sc 10 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, sc 5 B, sc 20 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 23: sc 21 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, sc 10 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 5 B, sc 10 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 24: sc 11 A, sc 4 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 2 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 8 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 21 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 25: sc 10 A, sc 2 B, sc 8 A, sc 4 B, sc 9 A, sc 2 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, B, sc 9 A, B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 4 B, sc 12 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 26: sc 8 A, B, sc 5 A, sc 11 B, A, B, sc 13 A, B, sc 7 A, sc 4 B, sc 4 A, sc 4 B, sc 9 A, sc 4 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 10 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 27: sc 10 A, sc 4 B, sc 3 A, sc 6 B, sc 8 A, sc 5 B, sc 3 A, sc 6 B, sc 2 A, sc 2 B, sc 2 A, sc 2 B, sc 11 A, B, sc 2 A, sc 4 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 8 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 28: sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, sc 5 B, sc 2 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, A, sc 18 B, sc 8 A, sc 14 B, sc 9 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 29: sc 9 A, sc 13 B, sc 8 A, sc 18 B, sc 2 A, sc 6 B, sc 4 A, sc 5 B, A, sc 17 B, sc 9 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 30: sc 9 A, sc 17 B, sc 2 A, sc 14 B, sc 2 A, sc 18 B, sc 8 A, sc 13 B, sc 9 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 31: sc 9 A, sc 12 B, sc 9 A, sc 17 B, sc 3 A, sc 14 B, A, sc 5 B, A, sc 11 B, sc 10 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 32: sc 11 A, sc 10 B, A, sc 5 B, sc 2 A, sc 13 B, sc 4 A, sc 16 B, sc 10 A, sc 10 B, sc 10 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 33: sc 10 A, sc 9 B, sc 11 A, sc 7 B, A, sc 7 B, sc 6 A, sc 11 B, sc 2 A, sc 6 B, sc 2 A, sc 8 B, sc 12 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 34: sc 13 A, sc 6 B, sc 3 A, sc 6 B, sc 3 A, sc 9 B, sc 8 A, sc 5 B, sc 3 A, sc 6 B, sc 12 A, sc 7 B, sc 11 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 35: sc 13 A, sc 2 B, sc 17 A, B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 13 A, sc 2 B, sc 6 A, sc 7 B, sc 5 A, sc 2 B, sc 15 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 36: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 37: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 38: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 39: sc 42 A, B, sc 49 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 40: sc 49 A, sc 18 B, sc 25 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 41: sc 22 A, sc 21 B, sc 49 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 42: sc 49 A, sc 23 B, sc 20 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 43: sc 18 A, sc 24 B, sc 50 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 44: sc 51 A, sc 24 B, sc 17 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 45: sc 17 A, sc 5 B, sc 6 A, sc 13 B, sc 51 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 46: sc 28 A, B, sc 23 A, sc 5 B, sc 3 A, sc 4 B, sc 10 A, sc 2 B, sc 16 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 47: sc 16 A, B, sc 10 A, sc 4 B, sc 4 A, sc 4 B, sc 12 A, sc 4 B, sc 37 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 48: sc 36 A, sc 6 B, sc 12 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 10 A, sc 2 B, sc 15 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 49: sc 15 A, sc 2 B, sc 9 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 4 B, sc 12 A, sc 6 B, sc 36 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 50: sc 37 A, sc 4 B, sc 14 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 4 A, sc 2 B, A, sc 4 B, sc 15 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 51: sc 15 A, sc 7 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 56 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 52: sc 56 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 3 A, sc 7 B, sc 15 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 53: sc 16 A, sc 5 B, sc 4 A, sc 2 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 3 A, sc 6 B, sc 5 A, sc 5 B, sc 7 A, sc 8 B, sc 23 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 54: sc 22 A, sc 11 B, sc 6 A, sc 4 B, sc 5 A, sc 7 B, sc 2 A, sc 2 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 17 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 55: sc 24 A, sc 2 B, sc 6 A, sc 5 B, sc 2 A, sc 5 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 12 B, sc 22 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 56: sc 22 A, sc 12 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 23 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 57: sc 23 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 4 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 22 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 58: sc 23 A, B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 8 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 59: sc 13 A, sc 2 B, sc 6 A, sc 4 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, B, A, sc 4 B, sc 9 A, sc 4 B, sc 28 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 60: sc 25 A, sc 5 B, sc 4 A, sc 11 B, A, sc 9 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 7 B, A, sc 4 B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 61: sc 12 A, sc 12 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 3 A, sc 9 B, A, sc 13 B, sc 4 A, sc 5 B, sc 24 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 62: sc 24 A, sc 22 B, A, sc 10 B, sc 2 A, sc 4 B, sc 5 A, sc 12 B, sc 12 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 63: sc 12 A, sc 11 B, sc 6 A, sc 4 B, sc 2 A, sc 9 B, A, sc 9 B, A, sc 13 B, sc 24 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 64: sc 25 A, sc 12 B, sc 2 A, sc 8 B, sc 2 A, sc 8 B, sc 2 A, sc 5 B, sc 6 A, sc 9 B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 65: sc 13 A, sc 8 B, sc 7 A, sc 5 B, sc 2 A, sc 7 B, sc 3 A, sc 7 B, sc 4 A, sc 10 B, sc 26 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 66: sc 27 A, sc 8 B, sc 6 A, sc 5 B, sc 5 A, sc 6 B, sc 2 A, sc 6 B, sc 7 A, sc 6 B, sc 14 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 67: sc 16 A, B, sc 10 A, sc 6 B, sc 4 A, B, sc 22 A, B, sc 31 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 68: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 69: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 70: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 71: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 72: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 73: sc 27 A, sc 3 B, sc 62 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 74: sc 58 A, sc 12 B, sc 22 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 75: sc 21 A, sc 14 B, sc 57 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 76: sc 56 A, sc 16 B, sc 20 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 77: sc 19 A, sc 17 B, sc 56 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 78: sc 18 A, B, sc 36 A, sc 7 B, sc 6 A, sc 6 B, sc 18 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 79: sc 18 A, sc 4 B, sc 10 A, sc 5 B, sc 4 A, sc 5 B, sc 22 A, sc 6 B, sc 18 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 80: sc 19 A, sc 5 B, sc 8 A, sc 2 B, sc 13 A, sc 4 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 12 A, sc 3 B, sc 18 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 81: sc 18 A, sc 3 B, sc 13 A, sc 2 B, sc 4 A, sc 5 B, sc 11 A, sc 6 B, sc 3 A, sc 8 B, A, B, sc 17 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 82: sc 17 A, sc 11 B, sc 2 A, sc 6 B, sc 12 A, sc 4 B, sc 18 A, sc 3 B, sc 19 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 83: sc 20 A, sc 3 B, sc 17 A, sc 3 B, sc 13 A, sc 5 B, sc 3 A, sc 10 B, sc 18 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 84: sc 22 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, B, sc 16 A, sc 2 B, sc 15 A, sc 3 B, sc 22 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 85: sc 24 A, sc 3 B, sc 12 A, sc 3 B, sc 25 A, sc 2 B, sc 23 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 86: sc 23 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, sc 2 B, sc 5 A, sc 5 B, sc 4 A, sc 2 B, sc 10 A, sc 4 B, sc 25 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 87: sc 27 A, sc 3 B, sc 9 A, sc 2 B, sc 2 A, sc 7 B, sc 5 A, sc 5 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 24 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 88: sc 24 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 5 B, A, sc 6 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 28 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 89: sc 28 A, sc 4 B, sc 6 A, sc 4 B, sc 3 A, sc 4 B, sc 6 A, sc 2 B, sc 8 A, sc 2 B, sc 25 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 90: sc 25 A, sc 3 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 4 B, sc 5 A, sc 4 B, sc 13 A, B, sc 14 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 91: sc 13 A, sc 2 B, sc 13 A, sc 4 B, sc 5 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 2 B, sc 7 A, sc 2 B, sc 8 A, sc 3 B, sc 25 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 92: sc 25 A, sc 4 B, sc 7 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 2 B, sc 5 A, sc 5 B, sc 11 A, sc 3 B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 93: sc 13 A, sc 5 B, sc 7 A, sc 7 B, sc 4 A, sc 3 B, sc 4 A, sc 4 B, sc 3 A, B, sc 2 A, sc 4 B, sc 3 A, B, sc 2 A, sc 4 B, sc 3 A, sc 2 B, sc 20 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 94: sc 21 A, sc 9 B, A, sc 9 B, A, sc 9 B, sc 3 A, sc 3 B, sc 5 A, sc 19 B, sc 12 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 95: sc 12 A, sc 19 B, sc 4 A, sc 4 B, sc 2 A, sc 19 B, sc 2 A, sc 9 B, sc 21 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 96: sc 22 A, sc 8 B, sc 2 A, sc 9 B, A, sc 10 B, A, sc 4 B, sc 5 A, sc 17 B, sc 13 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 97: sc 13 A, sc 17 B, sc 4 A, sc 5 B, A, sc 9 B, sc 2 A, sc 8 B, sc 2 A, sc 9 B, sc 22 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 98: sc 23 A, sc 8 B, sc 3 A, sc 7 B, sc 3 A, sc 8 B, A, sc 5 B, sc 5 A, sc 15 B, sc 14 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 99: sc 15 A, sc 12 B, sc 6 A, sc 6 B, sc 2 A, sc 6 B, sc 4 A, sc 6 B, sc 5 A, sc 6 B, sc 24 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Row 100: sc 26 A, sc 3 B, sc 8 A, sc 3 B, sc 6 A, sc 4 B, sc 3 A, sc 6 B, sc 9 A, sc 6 B, sc 18 A, (92) ch 1, turn
Rows 101-105: sc 92 A, (92) ch 1, turn
At the end of Row 105, tie off.
Attaching the dowel
f you’ve never attached a crochet piece to a dowel before, fret not!
I made a quick tutorial video explaining my process for attaching a crochet piece to a dowel. You can also read the full instructions, here.
STEPS:
- Using a slipknot, attach your piece of yarn to the top right corner of your piece.
- Align the top of your project to the dowel.
- Start a single crochet stitch but keep your working yarn behind the dowel. When you go to yarn over, bring the working yarn up and around the dowel, finishing your single crochet stitch at the top of the dowel. This actually forms a lovely braid detail at the top of the dowel.
- Continue along the piece, sc in every stitch, taking care to bring your working yarn up and around the dowel for each stitch. Tie off.
- Attach a braided strand of yarn with 2 slip knots to each side of your dowel to create a hanging string.
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