If you’re like me, you’ve uttered “what the fuck?” most days in the last 5 years. I made this pillow during a particularly repetitive cycle of terrible world news to channel a bit of my rage and fear into something tangible.
For more swear word crochet pillow patterns, check out this section of the website.
Here’s everything you need to create the What the Fuck crochet pillow
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Skill level
Advanced Beginner
Hook size
5mm crochet hook
Supplies
- 400 yd of worsted weight yarn
- 100 yd of letter color yarn (optional)
- Poly-fil or filling of your choice
Pattern notes
This pattern is written for right-handed crocheters in US terms. For left-handed crocheters, work each Row from end to beginning.
Abbreviations
- ch = chain stitch
- st= stitch
- sc= single crochet
Disclaimer: This pattern is intended for personal use only. Duplication of this pattern for sale or distribution is protected under copyright and are property of The Morning Crafter.
Stitch guide
- Single Crochet Stitch (sc): insert hook into stitch, pull through 1 loop (leaving 2 loops on the hook), yarn over, pull through both loops
- Bobble Stitch (bob): yarn over, insert hook into stitch, yarn over, pull through 1 loop (leaving 3 loops on the hook), yarn over, pull through two loops, repeat process 3 more times (4 total), until you have 5 loops on the hook. Pull through all 5 loops.
- Color changing (optional!): If you would like to change colors during your bobble stitches, in the sc before you begin a bobble, pull through the two loops to finish the stitch with your new color, dropping your first color behind the stitches. Then, complete your bobble as normal, but instead of pulling through the 5 loops with your current color, change back to your original color. If there are a series of bobbles in a row, stay with your new color until the final bobble stitch.
The chart
Feel free to increase the size of this pillow by adding rows to above the text and below the text, or to each side of the text by increasing your initial chain length in multiples of 2. (ex, this pattern starts with a ch of 52. You would increase to 54, 56, etc. and then add the same amount of rows as you do chains)
The pattern is done in two parts, a front panel and a back panel. They are stitched separately and then crocheted together at the end, prior to stuffing the pillow.
The chain 1 at the beginning of each row does not count as a stitch. When making the front panel, the bobble stitches are always made on the even rows of your work. The row of single crochet is always the odd rows of your work. The single crochets on either side of your bobble stitches help make the stitch puff outward.
Instructions
Front panel
Begin: ch 52
Row 1: In the second chain from the hook, sc in every stitch across the row. ch 1, turn (51)
Rows 2-5: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 6: sc 5, (bob, sc) 3 times, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 9, bob, sc 5, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 7: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 8: sc 8, bob, sc 8, bob, sc, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 9, bob, sc 5, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 9: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 10: sc 8, bob, sc 7, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 4, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 9, bob, sc 5, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 11: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 12: sc 8, bob, sc 6, (bob, sc) 3 times, bob, sc 3, (bob, sc) 3 times, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 4, bob, sc 4, bob, sc 5, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 13: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 14: sc 8, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 4, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 6, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 15: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 16: sc 8, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 5, (bob, sc) 3 times, bob, sc 7, ch 1, turn (51)
Rows 17: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 18: sc 8, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 8, ch 1, turn (51)
Rows 19-21: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 22: sc 13, (bob, ,sc) 2 times, bob, sc 3, bob,,s c 5, bob,s c 3, (bob, sc) 3 times, bob, sc 13, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 23: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 24: sc 17, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 16, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 25: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 26: sc 17, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 16, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 27: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 28: sc 17, bob, sc 3, (bob sc) 3 times, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 16, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 29: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 30: sc 15, bob, sc, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 16, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 31: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 32: sc 17, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 16, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 33: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 34: sc 13, (bob, sc) 2 times, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 6, bob, sc 16, ch 1, turn (51)
Rows 35-37: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 38: sc 9, bob, sc 4, bob, sc 4, bob, sc, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 3, (bob, sc) 2 times, bob, sc 9, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 39: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 40: sc 10, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 4, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 7, bob, sc 9, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 41: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 42: sc 11, bob, sc 2, bob, sc 8, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 7, bob, sc 9, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 43: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 44: sc 12, bob, sc, bob, sc 8, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 5, bob, sc, bob, sc 9, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 45: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 46: sc 11, bob, sc 2, bob, sc 8, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 7, bob, sc 9, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 47: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 48: sc 10, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 5, bob, sc 3, bob, sc 8, bob, sc 9, ch 1, turn (51)
Row 49: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Rows 50: sc 9, bob, sc 4, bob, sc 4, bob, sc, bob, sc 7, bob, sc, bob, sc 9, bob, sc 9, ch 1, turn (51)
Rows 51-55: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
At the end of row 55, tie off.
Back panel
Begin: ch 52
Row 1: Starting in the 2nd ch from the hook, sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
Rows 2-55: sc in every stitch across the row, ch 1, turn (51)
At the end of row 55, do NOT tie off.
Joining the pieces
Keeping your hook on the last ch stitch, insert your hook into the bottom corner of your front panel. In each row across, insert hook through next stitch in back AND front panel, joining them with a sc stitch. continue to the corner.
When you get to the end of that first row, sc 4 times in corner, turn your work and continue sc in each stitch on back and front panel along the side. Sc 4 times in top corner, continue stitching along the top of your pillow, sc 4 times in corner, stitch about 1/2 way down final side.
Stuff pillow to personal puffiness preference. Once stuffed to your liking, continue on the final side to seal up your pillow. Sc 3 times in the final corner.
Tie off. Tuck in any leftover strings from your project, and VOILA! You did it!
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